HOW TO
SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
Take off clothing and place it in
sectioned laundry hamper
according to lights
and darks.
Walk to bathroom
wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband
along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly
physique in the mirror --
make mental note to
do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth,
long loofah, wide loofah and pumice
stone.
Wash your hair once
with cucumber and sage shampoo
with 43 added
vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's
clean.
Condition your hair
with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with
crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of
body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off
hair.
Shave armpits and
legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet
surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with
Tilex.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small
country.
* Wrap hair in super absorbent
towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long
dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way,
cover up any exposed areas.
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
Take
off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk
naked to the bathroom.
If
you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the
woo-woo sound.
Look
at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire
the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
Get
in the shower.
Wash
your face.
Wash
your armpits.
Blow
your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart
and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend
majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash
your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash
your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Pee.
Rinse
off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail
to notice the water on floor because curtain
was hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire
wiener size in mirror again.
Leave
shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return
to bedroom with towel around waist. If
you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound
again.
Throw
wet towel on bed.
If there is anyone among you who did
not laugh at the truth
behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you.
Have a great day! Oh, and....woo woo!!!
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